Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough."A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied, "My husband's cheque book !!"
A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called, 'Husband – the Master of the House?'"
Sales girl: "Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!"
Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What's the secret?"
Old man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her."
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper – so I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!
Husband to wife – "Today is a fine day."
Next day he says: "Today is a fine day."
Again, next day, he says same thing – "Today is a fine day."
Finally, after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband –
"Since last week, you have been saying 'Today is a fine day.'" I am fed up. What's the matter?"
Husband : Last week when we had an argument, you said,
"I will leave you one fine day." I was just trying to remind you ........"